Resilience 1: Prozac, Coffee and Fridges

resilience2

Photo credit: Rebecca Wolsak

Struggling today but persevering. I was thinking (for the umpteenth time) about resilience. About being down but not out. I was going to post something about coffee and Prozac and then I remembered that I’d forgotten to take my little white pill today. I’ve got mixed feelings about being on Prozac. I think it’s definitely helped but I’m also sceptical and I don’t like the idea of being dependent on a chemical to feel better.

One of the side effects of being on fluoxetine is that I’ve started drinking coffee again (and eating more). I know that both coffee and sugar are bad for me but I definitely crave both of these substances now more than before. Previously my body just wouldn’t tolerate coffee and I would be bouncing off the walls (before crashing metaphorically at my desk). Now I quite like the buzz but I’m worried about overdoing it.

I read an interesting post detailing new developments on Chronic Fatigue which had me wondering what’s going on in my body at a cellular level. I’m certainly tired a lot of the time but I put that down to the strains of parenting. I don’t get to exercise enough and from the time I get home in the afternoon I’m often on the go with two small, demanding girls. Feeding, bathing, the bedtime routine. After that I often just collapse on our bed until it’s time to clean up the kitchen. Oh the drudgery!

This weekend we had the added drama of the fridge packing up. I was so stressed about the South Africa versus New Zealand rugby match that I decided to do some fridge defrosting as a stress release. Pick up knife, hack away at the ice in the fridge until …. I hit something I shouldn’t have and there’s a long hisssssing sound. Uh-uh. That’s the sound of Freon escaping and our 15-year old fridge expiring. The rest of the weekend didn’t get much better. But on the positive side we now have a sparkling new fridge which dispenses lovely cold water and which is purring contentedly on the side of our new kitchen. It’s silver, it tells the temperature (a chilly 2 degrees) and I think it’s possibly the best thing we own. We can;t afford it but that’s another story.

In due course I will post properly about resilience. About how resilience is not quite the same thing as Grit. I will even put up a picture of my beautiful new couch. Life carries on. The girls are on their TB-prophylaxis and it’s going better than expected. At least it’s Rifampicin and not INH. Three months to go and then we can breathe a little easier.

Life is hectic but it carries on. And there are good days in between the hectic ones.

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6 Responses to Resilience 1: Prozac, Coffee and Fridges

  1. litlove says:

    It IS exhausting bringing up small children – I remember it well. And given how many times you have to deal with them in an energetic way when you have no energy whatsoever (middle of the night, end of a long day, etc), there must be some compromise of the system. There’s that era, when children are first in school and bringing home all the bugs when parents are sick all the time too, and I’m sure that comes out of sheer depletion.

    I do wonder what it would be like to take caffeine again. I haven’t had it in years, nor sugar. Oh one thing – D-ribose is a supplement that is a sugar and not a sugar. It doesn’t mess with your blood sugar is what I’m trying to say. I take a spoonful in a glass with water to perk me up a bit after lunch. So if you want a different approach, you could always try that. But hurray for new fridges. You might as well enjoy its gorgeousness! And I’m so glad to hear that the girls are doing okay on their medication – that must be such a big worry, nearly able to be given up.

  2. Pete, you killed the fridge! PS I want one of the new ones you describe.

  3. Grad says:

    Fridge-o-cide?? How awful. And stabbed to death, no less. The poor old thing. But a new one is worth it. I wish I could afford one right about now. The shelves keep collapsing on the one I currently have, but I’m determined to keep it until it dies. I would be very interesting in reading your thoughts on resilience. And it is different from grit. I’ve had my mother (now going on 96) living with me for the last few years. She suffers from dementia. There are days I burst into tears with no provocation. Just from stress. And then I have to gather myself together, put one foot in front of the other, and move forward. I have thought about looking into an anti-depressant, but I don’t even like taking an aspirin. I remind myself that I am strong enough to take whatever comes. Sometimes I actually believe it! Best wishes, friend.

  4. Rebecca says:

    Hi there

    I see that you have used my photo for your website and credited Muslim Youth Musings. I really appreciate that you tried to give credit to the photographer, unfortunately they did not do the same thing. Can you please correct the credit? I have also written to them. I imagine they took the photo from my flickr page where it is published under creative commons licensing. I’m glad you like it.

    The original can be found here:
    in the crack

    Rebecca Wolsak

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