Audits and accidents

First up, a picture of the pie-girl as a hungry little drummer girl.

I could spend the rest of this post telling you about the cute things she says, such as her attempts to read herself a story (One morning … Robin said “I don’t know” …) but it’s been so long since I last posted that I will list a few bullet points as a way of clearing house instead.

Things are a little overwhelming at the moment and I find that my brain seems to shut down in response. So, in no particular order, and because I think it will be helpful for me to list them, here are some of the things that have been happening.

• My anger talk has been delayed yet again and now I’ve changed the topic to “Trauma and Loss” to reflect some recent events at school.

• Selecting new interns for next year has been very difficult but I eventually made the decision. Our internship programme was also audited last week by a team from the Health Council whom we called the Psychology Police. The head honcho was terrible and as much as she said that the visit was not meant to be punitive, we all experienced it as such and I felt like a naughty child being reprimanded by the teacher. The overall feeling was one of anxiety and shame.

• This winter has been particularly wet and our roof at home has started leaking. Fortunately, we have some money saved to cover it. And Spring is nearly here (and with it, a five day holiday to KwaZulu-Natal).

• Also on the subject of building, our offices at work are about to refurbished and not in a good way. They are taking away our lovely intern annex to give to another department and turning our downstairs meeting room into offices. We have had little say in the matter and I am dreading the weeks of noisy building work that are imminent.

• It was my 25th matric reunion recently and I really enjoyed chatting to the guys again and seeing how we have all changed (and also not changed terribly much) in the 25 years since we were last at school.

• Reading-wise, I started three new books in August and have not finished any of the books that I was reading in July. The new books are all non-fiction: Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax; Traumatic Stress in South Africa by Debbie Kaminer and Gill Eagle, and The Dance of Connection by Harriet Lerner. All very interesting (the last two more than the first) but I need to finish what I’ve started.

• L and I went to a Joshua Bell concert in Cape Town and it was fantastic. Joshua Bell played Vivaldi’s Four Seasons with the Stellenbosch Camerata and he is very, very good. The Bach Concerto for 2 Violins (which he played with an up-and coming black violinist) was quite disappointing, however, since she was no match for him in skill, emotion or volume and the performance made her look very average. It might be great for her CV to be able to say that she performed with Joshua Bell but it can’t have been great for her confidence. And it’s also worth pointing out that she was not playing on the Huberman Stradivarius. He told us about the instrument afterwards and it’s a fascinating story.

• On the first day of term I managed to scrape the left-hand side of my car at school. I was just starting to get over the trauma of that when I managed to reverse into someone else’s car outside my parents’ house. There are clearly a lot of things on my mind at the moment (instead of my driving) but that doesn’t take away the terrible feeling of being so careless and stupid. It’s been a very practical and rather painful lesson in mindfulness.

• I’m also frustrated at how difficult it is to blog at the moment. The only time I seem to get is when Leah is asleep and that is the opportunity for L and I to talk (or just watch TV, read or catch up with some work). Naturally, the less time I spend on the blog, the less confident I am at saying anything worthwhile and the less satisfying it is to write as well. I suspect that I just need to be patient here (but it might take a few years!) I wonder if I will still have any readers by then?

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5 Responses to Audits and accidents

  1. litlove says:

    You’ll always have me as a reader! I’m so glad to see you whenever you post and I remember those early, frantic years so well. It’s not surprising you have so little time, nor that there are accidents about you. Lack of sleep, stress, it doesn’t take much and I’ve had a couple of days like that lately, where everything I’ve picked up I’ve dropped, literally or figuratively. So sorry to hear of your horrid audit. Why do people behave that way? It won’t get them the results they want. Put it out of your mind, if you can. It’s not worth spending emotional energy on. The pie girl is adorable, though, and definitely worth it all.

    • Pete says:

      Thanks Litlove! If it wasn’t for fellow bloggers like you, I think I would have quit the blog a long time ago. But I love the sense of community, however distant and time-constrained it might be. As for the early years, I don’t think I realised how difficult it would be. Poor pie girl, yesterday she dropped her precious bunny into the bath and when I scolded her she was inconsolable for ages. All seems forgiven today though. Thanks for the sympathy re our audit.

  2. My sympathies on all counts. Roof leaking is something I know a lot about and how to forget all about in the leakless future. Also no time for blogging is a familiar theme here abouts. Adorable pic!

  3. doctordi says:

    Oh, Pete, I am in exactly the same boat with blogging. I look at my posts these days and think, who the hell is going to bother reading THAT? It is a miracle I’ve not yet alienated the few loyal readers I have, not to mention my tremendous blogging friends, yourself included. We’re tired, mate. Parenting a young child is the most exhausting thing I have ever experienced.

    And did you say your pie-girl is at the stage of pretending to read aloud? Oh, my! I wonder how the Touring Toddler’s verbal skills shall compare to his peers back in Sydney… right now he barely stops moving long enough to spit a word out.

    That audit sounds vile. I’m with Litlove. Not your problem.

  4. Well, I will always, always check back so keep this blog up and running and some day you will find the time to blog the way you would like to! I personally am just relishing Evangeline’s development because it moves so quickly! As my husband noted, the time where we really are the center of our children’s world is so brief – they are our children forever but are really only interested in us for the tiniest portion of that! Just try to keep in perspective that this time with your girl is so short, in context with your career and the rest of your life! And she is, by the way, simply beautiful!

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