As miserable as …

Here I am on two weeks leave and I’m as miserable as miserable can be. In fact I’m as miserable as …. (fill in your own analogy). Here are some options:

1. sin
2. Eeyore without his tail.
3. a bear with a sore head.
4. a misery guts.

The cause of this misery? In a word: internetlessness. Yes my friends, I too was afflicted with the social disease that brings utter despair to millions. Actually I’m not so miserable anymore since my Internet just got fixed. I might not be as happy as Larry but misery is now not the dominant emotional tone.

On reflection I think the miserable feeling was pretty justified considering that I was on leave and still trying (and mostly failing) to achieve a suitable state of leave-bliss. Lots of stuff to do, including a compulsory medical, getting my internet fixed, and then just a whole heap of admin, including the annoying task of trying to fix a Toyota window-winder. Tough buggers to fix, especially if you happen to be a total idiot in the car maintenance department. After 20 minutes of effort, I managed to dismantle one back-door of the Toyota in an attempt to learn (through a process of deconstruction) exactly how to fix the front door. Duh! Moral of the story: Leave deconstruction to the written (or spoken) word. Take your car to the mechanic.

I’ll spare you the medical angst (compulsory medical in order to join the military) suffice to say that there is not much dignity and ego when you have to pee into a glass jug and then submit to all the other normalising devices of a medical examination. Thankfully no rubber glove and no x-ray etc.

Item two on the causes of couchtrip misery is the ever-reliable source of disquiet known as fighting-with-my-mom. Not so fond memories of many, many holidays tinged with an atmosphere of underlying hostility! Now it’s a case of low intensity conflict / Cold War which suits me fine. I’ve got stuff to do and blogs to read. The less time spent worrying about bruised egos means more time spent chilling out.

On the internet front, I can’t tell you how horrible it is to be deprived of you, my favourite bloggers’ entertaining posts. I thought the internetlessness would just go away but it necessitated a trip to the Internet store where I had to leave my precious computer with a mostly-friendly internet technician. Initial paranoid thoughts of “what has he installed on my machine?” are giving way to the sweet pleasure of surfing again. What did we do before the Net?

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13 Responses to As miserable as …

  1. bloglily says:

    Whew. Trouble in paradise! I’m glad you’ve at least got the internet thing worked out.

  2. couchtrip says:

    Lily – Thanks. The great thing about blogging is that now that I’ve fessed up to some misery guts (and have also gone for a run), am feeling a lot better. The internet really does help too.

  3. Emily Barton says:

    Oh, I would DEFINITELY feel like Eeyore without his tale if I found myself Internetless. Glad you got it back. Oh, and next time I find myself with one Toyota window that doesn’t work, I’m taking your advice. I will get it to a mechanic (well, after driving around, probably, for weeks, with a useless window).

  4. seachanges says:

    I get paranoid when my internet is not working, even when it only lasts, say, about half an hour because the server is being fixed or down or whatever… As far as cars are concerned: I don’t even try! And then the family thing…just hide behind a book or something, write in long hand what you are going to post once the internet is up again, or… go running, as you say. Anyway, glad you’re feeling better 🙂

  5. doctordi says:

    Laughing at the door deconstruction – it sounds like such a logical but inevitably disastrous DIY strategy! I can imagine it so perfectly I can almost hear you swearing under your breath, surrounded by car bits. Too funny. Irritating and misery-making, but funny.

    On the misery-loves-holidays front, my personal feeling is that it takes people on average two whole weeks before they finally begin to relax. I think we ask too much of short breaks – minds and bodies take ages and ages to slow down, even more with age, don’t you think?

    So glad you have your internet back. I don’t know what we did. Had pen pals in France, I seem to recall…

  6. Natalian says:

    I can identify with ‘medical angst’ – I saw my Dentist for the first time in four years a month ago! I hope that your second week of leave will be more enjoyable now that it seems all admin is out of the way.

  7. Please relax! I am worried about you. Go to the beach and go for walks and go and hang out in some of those fabulous Cape Town cafes. You need to enjoy your holiday.

  8. Pete says:

    Emily – Eeyore would definitely drive around for weeks without getting it fixed. It’s tough as a male to admit car defeat but I’m just going to have to do it.

    Seachanges – Thanks. As for the house stand-off, it’s a bit like being a teenager again. Silly but effective.

    Di – Yes, I think that’s it exactly. It takes time to relax into a holiday and it’s natural to feel a bit miz the first two days.

    Natalian – Second week should be good since P will be on leave too. We’ll go camping or something. Sorry about the dentist – four years is a lot of dentist-avoidance!

    Charlotte – Thanks, that’s good advice. Walking with P this afternoon followed by a good movie and glass of wine should do the trick. Something suitably holiday-moodish like James Bond or Danny Deckchair.

  9. Litlove says:

    Ooooooh things get bad around here when I am deprived of my internet. No fun. And I hear you about medical tests and mothers. I send virtual hugs (particularly now they can float through the ether to you..).

  10. Dorothy W. says:

    What a nightmare! I’m so dependent on the internet, I don’t even want to think about what going without it would be like … very glad you have it back!

  11. Ask not what you will do without the internet.. but what the internet will do without you!

    Welcome back. I for one am glad your internet tail has been reattached.

    🙂

    BTC

  12. doctordi says:

    I hope you’re starting to settle into it, Pete. You’ve had a huge couple of months. Time to be still.

  13. Pete says:

    Litlove – Thanks, my friend. I’ve needed some in the last few days. Back on an even keel now but it’s been a odd couple of days.

    Dorothy – I know, it’s very disorienting to be without the virtual world. Just downloading a new browser (Internet Explorer 8) threw my internet into a tailspin. My feeder still hasn’t recovered.

    BTC – Thank you, am very happy to make the acquaintance of a fellow coucher. Am adding you to my blogroll right now.

    Di – Yes, I think so. Had a good realisation today – that it’s about process and not results right now. Also that I have to acknowledge that I’m in a bit of a slump and that it will take a while to get out of it.

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