Here I am on two weeks leave and I’m as miserable as miserable can be. In fact I’m as miserable as …. (fill in your own analogy). Here are some options:
2. Eeyore without his tail.
3. a bear with a sore head.
4. a misery guts.
The cause of this misery? In a word: internetlessness. Yes my friends, I too was afflicted with the social disease that brings utter despair to millions. Actually I’m not so miserable anymore since my Internet just got fixed. I might not be as happy as Larry but misery is now not the dominant emotional tone.
On reflection I think the miserable feeling was pretty justified considering that I was on leave and still trying (and mostly failing) to achieve a suitable state of leave-bliss. Lots of stuff to do, including a compulsory medical, getting my internet fixed, and then just a whole heap of admin, including the annoying task of trying to fix a Toyota window-winder. Tough buggers to fix, especially if you happen to be a total idiot in the car maintenance department. After 20 minutes of effort, I managed to dismantle one back-door of the Toyota in an attempt to learn (through a process of deconstruction) exactly how to fix the front door. Duh! Moral of the story: Leave deconstruction to the written (or spoken) word. Take your car to the mechanic.
I’ll spare you the medical angst (compulsory medical in order to join the military) suffice to say that there is not much dignity and ego when you have to pee into a glass jug and then submit to all the other normalising devices of a medical examination. Thankfully no rubber glove and no x-ray etc.
Item two on the causes of couchtrip misery is the ever-reliable source of disquiet known as fighting-with-my-mom. Not so fond memories of many, many holidays tinged with an atmosphere of underlying hostility! Now it’s a case of low intensity conflict / Cold War which suits me fine. I’ve got stuff to do and blogs to read. The less time spent worrying about bruised egos means more time spent chilling out.
On the internet front, I can’t tell you how horrible it is to be deprived of you, my favourite bloggers’ entertaining posts. I thought the internetlessness would just go away but it necessitated a trip to the Internet store where I had to leave my precious computer with a mostly-friendly internet technician. Initial paranoid thoughts of “what has he installed on my machine?” are giving way to the sweet pleasure of surfing again. What did we do before the Net?