Thanks to Litlove for this tag, which gives me a chance to write a quick post before I get down to studying for the day. Ten things I know should be easy right? But I’m feeling the pressure to show how clever I am, or well-balanced, or just ‘real and deep’ 😉
1. Love is Transference. This can be very helpful but it’s also a limited perspective. Love means different things to different people. Perhaps we could say that “falling in love” is transference but that the growing-and-changing-and-appreciating-and-struggling every day form of love is much more than that.
2. Next to Love, the next most important emotion is probably Fear. Notice the ‘probably’ there. That’s my fearful side providing a qualifier in case some very wise person comes along and says “what rubbish – it’s Anger or Hope” or whatever else I happen to have overlooked!
3. Anxiety forces us to grow. A helpful distinction is between different kinds of anxiety — natural, toxic and ‘sacred’. The fear of fear itself, which we’re seeing so much of with this credit crunch, is toxic anxiety. The ‘sacred’ kind confronts the big questions of existence.
4. Paradoxically, facing up to our vulnerability can make us stronger.
5. Anger is healthy, but not if you give yourself over to it.
6. Violence feeds the Ego.
7. People are motivated primarily by self-interest, which is why it’s important to enlarge our idea of the Self.
8. We are constantly changing (often in subtle ways).
9. Trauma works in cycles. I read an excellent quote by Martha Beck a while ago in which she was talking about grief as walking along with a huge boulder on your back. As you make your progress, this burden gets lighter and lighter – from a heavy rock to a light pebble – until you hardly notice it at all.
10. There’s always a Middle Way, especially when it comes to dealing with conflict. Being assertive for me means standing up for yourself while still acknowledging and respecting the other person.
Consider yourself tagged if you’ve read more than two of these posts and haven’t posted one yet yourself.